Letting Go

So long between words I am weary and parched, where do the days go?, where has my youth gone?

I sit broken finding this chapter almost too hard to bear.

“I’m Angry!”

Christina’s Crafts didn’t work out, packing dreams and broken promises into boxes and pricing them like they are worthless.

“I’m Sad”

That this is the end; but most of all

“I’m Scared!”

There I have said it, hidden behind being brave, but now uncovered, I’m just small, insignificant and scared.

How will I pay the mortgage? How will I buy a new car? How will I live without that extra trickle, that something else to do?

I know it will be filled with something special, its just hard to let go and I just wanted to say so!

Christina x

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6 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Respect for you Christina for owning up to feeling broken. Its hard to do but real. I won’t offer you anything but this, I hear you. It’s hard to let go and to count the cost. It’s OK to do so. It won’t break you . then count the pluses. I hope they outweigh the cost. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Martina,

      I’m breathing every day, my heart has let go, but I still have busyness to contend with as the curtain is not quite closed.
      I’m looking forward to the end now and counting the days.

      Your words were very soothing, thank you xo

      Like

  2. Stay strong Christina. It is hard watching you dreams fade and wondering how you will deal with tomorrow. 10 years ago I had these same issues. I lost everything I had worked so hard for and medical problems nearly drove me over the edge. I firmly believe that life does not hand us more than we are able to cope with (even though it often feels that way). You will come through this and there are people who care and feel your frustration. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dani, I know all of these things to be true, thank you for reminding me.
      I am just weary of being so strong all of the time, I’m trying to let go and also feel the experience rather than putting on the brave and soldiering on.

      Like

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